In a recent session with a client of mine, I was asking her about her goals for the New Year. A lot of people I have asked about this have been rather complacent about it, as if this human-made construct of the threshold of December 31st and January 1st has some magic fairy dust in it. Somehow at the changeover our lives will have a different meaning and purpose and our goals and visions will finally be realized. My client was revealing a few things that she wants to do this year and she seemed more stalwart than usual. She had some experiences lately that have her become more awake, more in her own power, more ready to assert herself in the world. Then she said something that struck me as powerful. When I asked her about this new found sense of power, she calmly said “I belong here”.
Those three words are very powerful indeed and I have contemplated them. To me, they don’t just mean to belong in a physical location, in space and time. They to me speak of a confidence of owning yourself more fully on multiple levels of your existence. You can belong more fully in your marriage, in your body, in your career, in your hobbies, in your visions and goals. There are so many possibilities of how belonging can manifest in your life.
It makes me think of Maslow. Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is very well known. It is a model that is explicit about how our basic needs build on a foundation for belonging, which in turn forms a foundation for self-actualization, that is to realize and fulfill our purpose as human beings. If you are constantly trying to survive physically and emotionally then you never really get to the belonging stage, that stage that you feel like you belong to a group of supportive people on your path. This belonging then gives us the springboard to look at our purpose and what mission we want to fulfill in life. This is a general gloss-over but you get the point.
So I ask you, what is getting in your way of belonging here? Where are those areas that you are perpetually stuck? Maybe it is speaking your truth to others, being a pleaser. Maybe your body isn’t as strong as it could be. Maybe there are relationships in your life that need work. Maybe your career needs an overhaul. For me the turn of the year is a good benchmark, a useful guide on our journey through time to stop and reflect. Reflection can be very powerful and bring insights to those areas that need improvement. And then yes, there is apathy, the “I have tried in the past but it didn’t work out” mentality. If you don’t know your hang-ups, then you can’t move past them. I have seen many people along the spectrum of ages change and improve upon their darker places.
For myself, I feel most of the time that I belong here. I work hard on many areas of my life, which incidentally I have set goals for. I have physical, mental/emotional, business, and relationship goals. I want to resist inertia and stagnation, a moving target is hard to hit. I seek to walk the talk, to show others that I am congruent with my message. I seek to be as positive as possible and frame things as things to be accepted or figured out, instead of problems and woes. I seek not feed the victim, the poor me in my own experience and seek to slay that mentality in others. The victim has no power to belong here. Let us all rise above our fears and anxieties and paint a picture of a new day, a new possibility. Start small. Pick one thing and begin to see it through. Use it as a case study, a test for putting down the yoke once and for all and moving in the direction of your destiny.